The four colours of lies

Lies have four colours: grey, white, black and red. Let’s agree that this colour is far from red, but instead is pink or light magenta.

So what can we say about these colours? Why are they even important? It is not to be imagined as the colour of someone’s face as they’re caught lying. This should rather be taken, as a kind of sign, as a visual representation that can be associated with lies depending on which side it affects. In order to get to place these colours somewhere you need to create two dimensions which both are split into two categories. The categories represent who the lie is affecting. Since you are closest to yourself, let’s start with how lies affect ourselves.

How does it affect us?

The forces of evolution push us towards self-preservation, especially when we feel threatened. When our basic needs are in danger of not being satisfied, we’re prone to lie in order to defend ourselves. We lie lessen the amount of basic needs, or to fulfill our personal goals. Lying always causes conflicts in values, while selfish lies cause even greater dissonance. In conclusion, lying makes personal realization more difficult instead of making it happen faster and easier.

How does it affect others?

What we say often affects others, especially when we communicate directly with them. Lies can help or harm others and the sole idea of this affects our decision to lie or to not lie. The decision to lie to others is influenced by social values, which say that we shouldn’t be harming each other. As a result, lies can mean complex decision-making, which tips the balance of who and how much is going to be affected.

The next matrix shows the four types of lies:

White lie:

This model shows that white lies are selfless because the reasoning behind these deeds is to help others, even if we have something on the line. In practice, there are shades of white and usually what we consider being a white lie usually is a grey one. Even if we lose something due to the lie, it has an indisputable advantage, it improves our self-esteem, we feel good about our decisions or, for example, we get positive responses for our selfless actions, which boosts our morale even more.

Grey lie:

Most of the lies are grey. It has positive effect on ourselves and on others also. Depending on the balance of help and damage, the shade of grey can vary. Grey lies are really difficult to define. For example, we may lie to help a friend in trouble, but then gain the reciprocal benefit of them lying for you.

Black lie:

Black lies are about simple and insensitive selfishness. The only goal is either to free ourselves from trouble (reduce harm to ourselves) or to get something we desire, the other side wins nothing out of it.

Red lie:

Anger and revenge, these are the two words that we can describe red lies with. The motive behind them is to harm others, even at the cost of their own well-being. When we are angry or when we feel offended in some way, we have a sense of betrayal and therefore seek retaliatory justice. This usually happens without thinking about the consequences of our actions.

Strive to understand lies and the motivation behind them. Then respond to these in a way that helps others tell the truth or help them in other ways to achieve their goals. When you lie, question your motives. It’s very easy to think that you’re telling white lies when you actually confused them with grey lies.

Source: http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/lying/four_lies.htm